The Three Month Rule by J.R. Yussuf
If you’ve ever watched the UPN show entitled ‘Girlfriends’ then you know all about Joan Clayton (played by Tracee Ellis Ross) and her three month rule. Joan would purposely abstain from any sexual acts with all men until they had been exclusively dating for three months. This was always problematic because guys would be scared off by the time limit and pressure she put on having sex. Guys seldom ever made it through the initial three month trial period leaving Joan horny and forcibly celibate for up to a year at one point in the show.
This rule is barely in use because of one reason or another but when it is used, it’s used by an older crowd. Well do college students consider this rule when it comes to dating? Is that even a possibility amongst this age group? Here is a question a reader sent and my reply:
“Should the three month rule be in effect while being on a college campus? That’s damn near an entire semester!”
Great question! One of the main purposes of the three month rule is too test the nature of the person you’re dating. Three months of dating without sex will allow for you to clearly see the other person’s strengths and weaknesses and see if being with them is worth the work. Also, having a three month rule in place prevents your judgment of your mate from being obscured by sex. What’s important here is being able too accurately judge the character of the person you’re dating; not just how long you wait. This is especially difficult to determine because we are on a college campus and you see that person at least five times more than you would if you were dating under normal circumstances which makes it harder not to have sex.
But I think it’s important to remember that if you are with someone that is planning to stick around for a while, there wouldn’t be urgency when it comes to having sex. Think about it. If I know I’m going to be with you for ten years, I know we will get around to having sex before the ten years are up. However if I’m not trying to get to know you too well or be around for more than a few weeks I would want to get the business sooner than later. Use your discretion when choosing how long you should wait though, because once you give something away, you don’t get it back.
