The Lonely Player by Marly Judith Fleurival
Our plight begins when we were taken captive from our motherland. Estranged from our last names, our families, our homelands and everything else that was familiar to us; Our identity; stolen.
Since our “American” plight begins with a broken family structure can we ever attain a traditional, solid family? Can the stolen identity of the black man explain why he is presently searching for himself in his absent father or his womanizing male peers? The current plight of the present day African-American is one of re-humanization; reversing the dehumanization effects of slavery. Reclaiming our identity. But are we going about it the wrong way? Can the origins of our broken family structure explain the actions of the modern-day “black” man?
Perhaps it can, however it will never justify them. The modern-day black man generally views “cuffing” (being in a monogamous relationship) as being “pussy” (not masculine). If he chooses to be in a relationship it’s usually on the down-low (discreet and hidden) as if he is ashamed of a wrong doing. He views loving another, shamelessly as a wrongdoing.
Perhaps, he fears that his peers/friends will not accept him and his open monogamy. This brings up my theory of the “lonely player”. “The lonely player”, what an oxymoronic theory, right? But bear with me and it will come to light. This hypothetical man would be known for his “body count”. Perhaps even admired by his male peers for the large amount of women he entered without emotional attachment or remorse. Yet he would be seen on social networks (Twitter & Facebook) expressing his loneliness in subtle ways. “Where wifey at?” “Damn I need a good bitch!” He is clearly still lonely even though he has had a plethora of sexual partners. The player may be a man looking for emotional fulfillment in the only way that is his peers/friends deem acceptable; Sex without attachment.
The problem is, souls cannot connect without spiritual contact, which comes from vocal AND sexual communication. A soul connection is the only way one can truly feel fulfilled. Yes, sex is a great addition to this soul connection. Sex is a gift from God. However sex alone cannot feed a hungry man. So stop pretending you don’t desire companionship, player.
Metaphorically lets say a dose of sex and 2 doses of soul connection is what cure the inflicted “lonely player”. If the medicine is not taken properly it acts as an addictive poison. The inflicted man will now be poisoned and unable to settle down when he desires because of his built up habit of sex without emotion that has developed into an addiction. And unfortunately for the “lonely player” one can not turn off the desire and act of cheating like a light switch when one is ready to settle down. Said player might undoubtedly come across “wifey” and want to be in a monogamous, public relationship, but might not be able to. Habits are not easily broken and a cheating man can not change overnight. Lasting change takes time. Being doomed to cheat on “wifey” is what many “lonely players” face and lest they begin a change in the way they think about relationships, so it will be.
Whether you agree or not one thing is true, a player is in pursuit of something when he goes after the various people he goes after. Be it merely physical, base things or support and longevity, there is something clawing away at the player from the inside. So the next time you find yourself trying to have sexual contact with a random person, ask yourself “Why you so lonely, player?”
