There is a secret monster plaguing your relationships.
Well, at least some of your relationships. For those who have established a strong line of communication, this monster is virtually powerless but if you have had trouble getting on the same page with your partner, this may be the one thing that has the power to put an end to everything you have worked so hard for.
Many couples may recognize it, but few have the ability to conquer the monster that is – social networking sites.
In the year 2012 I think it is fair to say that most people have a Facebook or a twitter. According to Digital Buzz there are over 600 million people with a Facebook account. I will assume that a strong amount of the people on this website are in relationships. If you have an account you have probably seen your fair share of relationship breakdowns happen within a matter of comments and seconds.
Here are a few reasons why the magic of Facebook, and social networks in general have been able to mess up your relationships.
1. You don’t really know your partner- The art of courting has gone out of the window. There was a time when dating was required, and within those requirements there were rules. Rules such as no kissing on the first date, sex was not an option for discussion, and conversation would have to be prevalent. But the age of texting, Facebook chat, tweeting, and unlimited minutes has eliminated the purpose of dating. Most people don’t go on dates but spend hours on the phone talking or texting. Without this important tool it is hard to figure out who your partner really is, so if they’re a good interviewer you’re stuck going with that and unable to test them in real time situations until it’s too late. According to Rassan Gary a sophomore at Kingsborough community college “No one wants to go on dates anymore, they would rather take a chance and assume you can know someone through text messages.” If you don’t really know your partner it makes it easier to misinterpret their interactions with others especially those of the opposite sex.
2. Trust issues- Are you or your partner one of those people who expects the worst from everyone? You follow the belief that everyone will eventually betray your trust and it is only a matter of time before this happens? Well if you are, here is an observation I have made about people like that. When you expect negative things to happen you usually have negative things happen to you. You also usually lack trust, so when your partner posts on someone’s wall or someone of the opposite sex posts on their wall, an innocent exchange can turn into fuel for your jealous rage. Just ask Starteria Williams of Empire State College; “I dated a guy who had some serious jealousy problems. I remember one time in particular when he stopped talking to me for a week because some guy posted a heart on my Facebook page. The guy was my brother”. Websites make it easy for friends and family to stay in touch, but it also makes it easier for jealous lovers to track their partner’s comments and movements. The barrier of privacy becomes almost non existent when you literally have an online tracking device.
3. Lack Of Communication- No matter what the issue is, communication is usually the root of most relationship problems. If you and your partner are on the same page most problems can be avoided, and the ones that do occur can be handled quite efficiently. But if you get mad at your partner and decide to air out your dirty laundry to Facebook, twitter, or tumblr how strong can your relationship possibly be?
Social networking sites do not have to be the death sentence for your relationship. Here are a few tips on how not to let them mess up a good thing.
1. Let your partner know what you will and will not accept right away- If you won’t feel comfortable with them posting suggestive pictures or flirting with people online, let them know from day one.
2. Keep it in house- If you have a problem with something they did on their Facebook, twitter, or tumblr page do not express it for everyone to see. Wait until the two of you have some time to talk. Then tell them that it bothered you as well as why.
3. Think before you post- If you know it would bother you if your significant other had something similar on their page, you probably shouldn’t put it up either.
4. Get to know the person you’re dating- Get to know the people you decide to call your significant other. Find out who they are, how they think and what they do. If you take out more time to get to know someone before you become an item, you may be able to pinpoint some danger attributes and handle them way before they ever become an issue.
If you follow these simple rules, things should be fine. Now go update your status.
By Stanley Fritz