Have you ever wondered how to break a man?
It’s actually quite simple, crush his pride. The world is filled with men who were so sure of the relationship status with their spouse that they never took a moment to see what was actually going on. I can’t begin to tell you how many time’s I’ve heard men say “My girl would never cheat on me, she ain’t about that life” only to receive a rude awakening just a while later. The results of this can be surprising , because as many will agree; there is not much worse then seeing a man with a broken heart. Sad, defeated, deflated, confused, frustrated, and left with his pride fractured. Many of these gentlemen would have done things differently if they saw the signs, but they were too focused on other things.
To begin, let’s be clear. No one is immune to infidelity, and this is not meant to bash either sex. It does not matter who cheats more, or who cheats worse because it is clear both parties have had the blood of a torn heart on their hands, we are all guilty culprits in this thing we call love. In many relationships an unfaithful woman is cheating for months, even years but we don’t notice. The signs are there but we are not looking. It takes something very glaring for us to realize that things are not right. One day we realize that she’s not the last person we hear from just before bed anymore. At first this happened two or three times, but you didn’t take it seriously because it was an opportunity to get more NBA 2K time in before bed. But three weeks pass by and all of a sudden you don’t remember the last time you two had a conversation at the end of the night. The random text messages have stopped, she does not pick up the phone right away, or doesn’t make a big deal that you have not called her in a few days, the more you think about it the more you notice things have been very different for the past few months. You’re too late. She’s probably been cheating for a while, but you were either oblivious or “too busy” to notice.
Exhibit A: The little things matter
I don’t mean for every guy to become paranoid of every little action she makes. That would be insecure and, if nothing else, very sad. But women are very intelligent creatures, if they are doing something that they do not want you to know about; trust me nine times out of ten you will be non the wiser. So if you’re with your partner be with her, know her and understand her. Have there been unexplainable changes in her schedule, have her sleep patterns changed, are the phone calls or text messages becoming less frequent? These are not glaring signs, and sometimes these things happen for a reason, but when these examples occur unprovoked and then when addressed still can not be explained trust me, something is going on. Howard University senior, Amanda Lee agreed with this sentiment and cited examples of things that may go unnoticed by men. “When she doesn’t care if you’re out with friends all the time, she’s not pressing you for sex, she hardly gets mad at you.”
Exhibit B: She no longer argues with you
Remember when your girl used to bug you about not spending quality time, you thought it was annoying, because it seemed like every time you turned around ya’ll needed to have “a talk” about what you weren’t doing, and how you need to fix it. But one day you do something wrong, and just as you brace yourself for the argument she brushes it off. Old Westbury (SUNY) senior, Jonathan Murray was adamant in his belief that a woman who no longer argues is a woman who is now cheating; “They’re not fighting as much and caring less. Fights are bad, yes, but they do show that someone cares.” A woman’s silence should be considered one of the most frightening things in the world. If she’s not fighting for you, crying for you, or even nagging you, she’s probably over you and just waiting for the right time to end things for good.
Exhibit C: Your messing up, constantly
Women do not just cheat for the hell of it. They are just wired differently than men are. If a woman is cheating, she’s doing so for a reason. That reason may not directly involve you but it can. One of our biggest failures as men in relationships is that we get too comfortable. There is a reason that a woman falls for you, she appreciates your personality, your passion, and the things you did to win her over. If two years into the relationship you show no ambition, make no attempt to spend quality time with her, or suddenly become very verbally, or physically abusive, then you better be on guard, because if she’s not cheating it won’t be long before she does. All of you overly jealous guys out there this goes for you too. Deal with your own insecurities before you get into a relationship. Ask any woman, there is nothing less attractive than an insecure needy man. City College (CUNY) senior, Michelle Santiago detests insecure men. “ I can’t stand when a guy is overly paranoid or jealous all of the time, its just so unattractive. Most of the time I’m not doing anything wrong nor was I planning to, but he just accuses me of so much and trusts so little I end up getting fed up and do something just to prove him right.”
The Synopsis
Nine out of ten times if you have a good woman, simple communication can keep your relationship on the right track. More often then not, the reason your woman cheated is looking back at you in the mirror. I’m not saying she was right; it just is what it is. No matter how good of a person your girl is, anyone can slip up. But if you know your woman the way your supposed to you can pick up on all of the little tell tale signs and address them before things get messy. Finding out the truth is not impossible, all it takes is a man that really cares about the person he’s with that also wants to know her beyond what is between her legs. Don’t fall into this situation because you’re clueless. Be honest, attentive, and most importantly know your girl.
By Stanley Fritz
