Five Things You Don’t Want To Say During Sex by J.R. Yussuf
Bad sex is surprisingly prevalent in this over sexed country. And according to the Durex Sexual Wellbeing Global Survey, Americans suck at sex. Maybe it is our incessant need to always beat the clock, to never take the time out and enjoy the moment or maybe it is because sex is over-discussed and therefore lacking intimacy. Whatever the cause, language during sex is not autonomous from the quality of the ‘love-making’. In fact an erotic whisper is enough to arouse most people and allow the more fortunate, to climax. However the reverse is also true so before you go blabbing words from an old vocabulary list, take a second to think about it.
Here are five things you don’t want to say during sex:
1. “…”
In case you are unsure what that means, it means saying nothing. Remaining completely silent and saying nothing during sex is one of the fastest ways to turn your spouse off. Going off on a tangent and talking about your day is inappropriate as well, however saying absolutely nothing is awkward. In some cases saying nothing can be the equivalent to saying your partner’s sex does nothing for you and is not pleasurable. A simple “yea” or “that feels good” will suffice if there is still some anxiety around what is on and off-limits though.
2. “Kyle” but his name is Mike
Sounds funny but this happens more than you think. Avoid name calling. Instead use erotic substitutes such as “boo” “baby” or “babe”. These substitutes help take you both toward the common goal of having great sex, while avoiding a mishap like calling out the wrong name. Though you don’t want your speech to be too methodical during sex, you must think about it because what you say can and will be held against you.
3. “Yea!!! Whose p*ssy is this?” or “Yea b*tch! You like this d*ck huh?!” or “What’s my name?!”
While this speech is appropriate in pornography or during sex with a freak (yea, #IBeKnowin) it is not a turn on to some women. Avoid speech that is too vulgar because no female wants to feel like you think she is a dirty tramp. Speech like this implies that is what you think of her. Speech in pornography is degrading, objectified and not appealing to some so to be on the safe side do not do it.
4. “Have you ever thought of having an abortion?”
This is a real question that was asked to an astute young woman who attends a prestigious University on Long Island. Questions like this are usually too intense to ask during sex because the answer to this question extends beyond the moment at hand. Questions about life, philanthropy, career plans and the like should be avoided. This is the one time you don’t have to have great conversation topic. Also, questions like this are usually asked to take advantage of the other person. When you are aroused you don’t always think straight and you might agree to something that you normally wouldn’t. Taking advantage of someone while they are in a heightened state of pleasure is manipulative and wrong so don’t ask questions like this.
5. “I love you.”
Having sex with someone and loving them are not synonymous. Just because he had sex with you does NOT mean he loves you. And saying that you love him too early will NOT make him love you back. It will just terrify him and cause him to somehow shrink. So you want to avoid talk of how the relationship is going because you don’t want to overextend yourself. In those moments of passion, you might feel like you love him or really like him but voicing this versus showing it sexually will not aid you here. And you thought ‘whisky-d*ck’ was bad? Say “I love you” too early and just watch how quickly things take a turn in that direction.
