Before I start I will not lie to you, I haven’t had a million boyfriends. So while I do have a little personal experience, most of the things I will tell you are a mixture of things I have witnessed or learned from older generations.
1) You’re too young to be so bitter: Most young women between the ages of 17 and 23 probably haven’t even dealt with a full grown mature man in a relationship. It baffles me when I hear these young women proclaim that all men are dogs, liars, cheaters and low lives. Most of you aren’t even bitter by experience but by association. One of your girls has a bad experience and you internalize it and every other status on your Facebook is “Boys are stupid, Men ain’t sh*t”. Learn from others mistakes don’t let their bad fortune mess you up. Yes there are some dogs out there but there are also a lot of great guys out there as well. Most women who are bitter are secretly angry at themselves for letting “that man” play them like a fool. But instead of taking the L and admitting that they played some part in their own heart ache they rather take the easy road put all the blame on him and walk around with the sour face on.
2) Stop thinking the actions you do after a man hurts you will affect him in any way, shape or form: Ladies, we have to stop thinking that a man who hurts us cares about us enough to get mad if we start messing with a new dude or end up going crazy and start giving it up filthy. We do more damage to ourselves trying to hurt a man who doesn’t care about us than just forgiving him for his actions. We have to understand that most of the time his actions are his choice and it does not define who we are moving forward. The best thing you can do to your enemy is smile and become a better person. Acting out isn’t going to make him think he’s missing something by not being with you, if anything it will just make him laugh at your stupidity and move on to a new chick with the quickness.
3) If a man doesn’t care about us the way we want him to or the way we care about him, just leave: You can’t make someone change who doesn’t want to. It’s okay for someone to not feel about you the way you feel about them, its life. But don’t sit here and waste your time, energy, and love trying to make a man see something he doesn’t want to. If a relationship is what you’re looking for from him and that’s not what he wants from you, that’s ok move on to someone who you see eye to eye with. Also understand that he doesn’t owe you his heart because you gave him yours with no work involved. Who we give our heart to is our personal choice, if you choose to give it to him without seeing if he was worthy, then you have to deal with the consequences.
4) If the amount of headaches he gives you are bigger than the amount of orgasms he gives to you, then it’s time to reevaluate: Listen people go through problems. Every part of your relationship is not always going to be peaches and cream but when you have to fight with your significant other to do the things that someone who naturally wants to be in a relationship with someone does, it might be time to let it go. Every man can’t be “the one” some are just lessons. Learn to let go of someone when they no longer bring positivity into your life. Women will complain about their man 80 percent of the time and when someone says “why don’t you leave”, they go “I love him or I care about him”. Like what does that even mean, how do you love someone who treats you like trash, you’re not in love with that person you’re in love with the thought that, that person will change and become what you want them to, when in reality they could care less about being that person you want them to be. You can’t make someone treat you special who doesn’t view you in that light. So stop, think about all the headaches and 2 hour phone calls with your girls on how much your so called “man “ is acting up and think about the last time he’s went out his way for you and done something thoughtful, kind or courteous to improve your relationship. If he hasn’t done anything then tell him, it was cool but you need to move on.
What do you think? Do you agree? Is there anything you want to add to the list?
By: Tichina Epps